Is it good to be jealous? Jealousy is a negative feeling that we should avoid so we can be happier. Jealousy can also be bad for our health. You can overcome jealousy by learning lessons from the person, being grateful for what you have, and turning it into a wake-up call or positive motivation instead. Find out more tips on how to overcome jealousy and have a more positive mindset. ~ Ed.
Someone you know has just got something you have always wanted that you can’t for some reason. How do you react to that?
Feeling jealous is one of the reactions you can give in this situation, although it’s a negative one.
Jealousy seems to be a feeling all of us have at any some point in our life. The dictionary defines it as a feeling of unhappiness or anger because you wish you had something that someone else has.
That can be achievements, goods, relationships, or other good things in life.
When we are jealous of someone, we may feel stressed because of the thing that person has in possession. We might ask ourselves repeatedly: why can’t I have that too?
Maintaining the jealous feeling for some time can cause us to be unreasonably angry and in a bad mood. That can deteriorate the relationship that we have with people close to us.
Moreover, it can also be bad for our health. According to doctors, jealousy can raise our blood pressure, heart rate, and adrenaline while also weakening our immunity.
These bad impacts of jealousy make it clear that we should try to dismiss this feeling as often as possible.
But what can we do about this? After all, jealousy can often just come to us suddenly and it can be hard to dismiss it.
10 Approaches You Can Use to Avoid Jealous Feeling
Jealousy can be a difficult thing to deal with but it isn’t impossible either. Being able to dismiss it should mean we can have a more positive mindset and be calmer in our reactions. Here are some approaches you can implement to help you get your jealous feeling down.
Realize that jealousy isn’t going to help you with anything
Ask yourself this question: will you get the things that you want if you feel jealous? The answer should be no, right?
Then, there should be no reason also to have that jealous thought in your mind. The jealousy might even pull you further from the things you desire as you spend your time lamenting your condition.
When you begin to feel jealous, remind yourself that it isn’t going to help you accomplish anything. Instead, you should focus on being in a good mood again to help you do that.
Overthinking bad thoughts such as jealousy is mostly not good for anything you want to do.
Reflect on your negative feelings and their bad impact
Have you understood the bad impacts of jealousy on your body and mind? If yes, then you should be more careful when you begin to feel that way.
It is just bad for you and that is something you should remember when you try to avoid that feeling.
Understand also that the bad impacts can keep getting worse as you keep on dwelling in your jealousy longer. It can be harder for you to dismiss your resentment as you maintain your bad thoughts over time.
The bad impacts can keep adding up too if you let it be. Therefore, you should change your thoughts into something more positive when you already have the chance.
Define and remember your life priorities
Maybe you shouldn’t pay attention to that thing you are jealous of. When you reflect on it, probably you have different priorities in life compared to that person whom you’re jealous of.
Those different priorities mean you should chase other things instead of what that other person has and you don’t.
To know that for certain, define clearly the life priorities that you should put in the optimum effort for. Understand exactly what you want in life and set grand goals for yourself.
After you have defined your life priorities and stick them in your mind, you will have fewer reasons to feel jealous. It is because although they have something you don’t, it is probably not something that you should care about at all.
Treat it as a wake-up call and evaluation trigger
If you feel jealous of things related to your target, then you can make this your wake-up call. Evaluate the approach that the other person has taken to do it while you can’t.
Probably, you don’t give enough attention and time compared to what that person gives or there are other factors. Admit that something is wrong and try to fix your approach.
If there isn’t anything that can be improved, then you should be able to accomplish the same thing as that person.
This comparison that you see between you and another person might be even needed by you. It can serve as a notification for you to improve yourself instead of dwelling on jealousy.
This way of thinking is positive for you as compared to bad thoughts such as resentment toward another person.
Set some relevant targets if the thing is meaningful for you
You may not get what the other person has now but you can definitely get or even exceed it later. For that, you should set some targets for yourself in the future related to that thing you desire.
If what you seem to want is important, then these new targets should make your work more focused on. This is so that you can use most of your energy on positive things instead of feeling jealous all the time.
Remember, though, you need to make sure that what you desire from the other person you’re jealous of is important for you. This goes back to the tip about setting your grand goals and priorities earlier.
If the thing relates to them, then you can treat the targets set here as milestones for your grand goals. It should help you to work more productively towards the right thing and give better outcomes as a result.
Be thankful for the good things you have
Another person may have some better things but you should remember that you too have some things that you should be grateful for. The grass on the other side is always greener, as they say.
As you look deeper into what is in your possession, you may find that you have good things in abundance. You may lose a strong reason to feel jealous of another person because of that.
Evaluate the things you have and find some positive things. Be grateful for your present condition without forgetting to work towards a better future.
Maybe it is other people who should feel jealous of what you already have. And who knows, probably that another person who you felt jealous of is more jealous of the things you have!
Turn it as a positive motivation instead
When you ask yourself the reason why another person can have the thing you want, you should be motivated for that. Instead of dwelling on jealousy and resenting continuously, change your mindset to this: if that person can, why you can’t?
There is no reason you cannot accomplish the things that other people can accomplish. If you work hard for it, you can get it too.
It often depends on your positive or negative perspective on something. When you compare yourself with other people, think about how you can achieve what other people already achieve.
Having this kind of thinking should make you feel inspired when you see other people’s accomplishments instead of feeling jealous.
Learn lessons from that person
Is there something that you lack compared to the other person you feel jealous of? Maybe there is an important approach, knowledge, or skill you don’t have right now?
Take a look at the person that has something you want and learn. There might be something essential you can take to implement for yourself.
If it is possible in your case, you may want to ask the other person to discuss with you.
Talk with the person and get to know the right approach to get the things that you want. Doing that can help you tremendously in your next effort to get the same thing as that person.
Acknowledge anything can change through your effort
You might be in a worse situation now compared to the other person. But things can change through the effort that you give.
When you have the mindset that anything can change through effort, you will do something to get what you want. Compare that to more passive thinking in which you resent your fate as the reason you cannot accomplish what you want.
That other person must also have put in some effort so that the achievement can be accomplished. If you just stay still, then you won’t ever reach that thing that you want.
Believe in what you can do through your work and then practice that belief by laboring hard consistently. If you have set the relevant targets as told in the previous tip, then your effort should have more focus too.
Allocate some time to calm down and plan if it is a big thing for you
If it is something you really want and have worked hard for, it might be difficult to not feel strong jealousy.
It might take extra effort from you to be calmer and plan the next steps to take after this. In that case, you might want to take a specially allocated time to think for yourself.
Set a period in your schedule to relax and calm things down. During that period, think also about what to do next and what things you should target.
Consider all things in your thinking and try to commit to what you decide from its result. Moreover, promise yourself to stop dwelling in jealousy after that period as it can have a bad impact on you.
Feeling jealous is a bad reaction you can give when someone seems to have something better than you. It can make you feel much stressed and also lead to unhealthy impacts on your body.
When you start to feel jealous, realize that jealousy can only bring bad things to you.
Take a moment to reflect on your priorities. Treat those as the direction for your consistent hard work so you can get the things you really want.
Take a moment also to evaluate your approaches and learn the lessons you can get from the other person you’re jealous of. What are the things you lack and can be better in the future?
Add the results of that evaluation and learning to your next effort so you can produce better outcomes next time.
Always try to think positively and not dwell too much on negative thoughts. Doing these with the details given in this article should help you to overcome jealousy while also having a much more positive mindset.
Over to You
What do you think about jealousy? Do you have other tactics that you implement when you need to overcome jealousy and have more positive thoughts instead? Let’s discuss this in the comment section below!